A friend sent me the following screen capture from Google News:

I take this as another sign that the first true machine intelligence will emerge in the Googleplex.

OK, lots of people are pointing to this “parody” video, Microsoft Redesigns the iPod Package, but since it involves the iPod, I thought I’d call a little more attention to it.

It’s funny because it’s true, and because the music is perfect. But it’s also interesting because it perfectly illustrates the differences between the Apple and Microsoft design aesthetics — and I’m not talking about packaging. The iPod is so well done not because it’s had so many features added to it, but because it has had so many taken away. The saying “Less is more” is no less true for being cliché.

I was surprised to discover this evening that Rochelle’s very creative movie (given the constraints of our 1999 digital camera’s 10-second video limit) is not the top result for corporate drone on Google.

I have to admit, I bought Apple’s iMovie, and then Final Cut Express, and then upgraded it, all without producing something as compelling as what Rochelle dreamed up on a (slow) Happy Boss Day at the office. “Check it out.”:http://www.michaelandrochellessite.com/resources/moov/happy-boss-day.mpg

Sorry, but this made me laugh uncontrollably for 2-3 minutes. Tears down my face. I knew I had to post about it, and ended up laughing even more when I thought of the headline…

Rugby fan castrates self

Really, how do people come up with these ideas?

Heard around the office…

“You can’t take tomorrow off, I’m already out of the office.”

“How come?”

“Our au pair is at Burning Man.”

If you’re not familiar with the linked terms, be sure to view the definitions…

Overheard during a discussion of who wears the pants around here:

“Not only do you wear the pants, you won’t even let me put on underwear.”

“I wish my life was that good…”

As usual, Rochelle’s invitation to a recent party is funny and worth preserving. In addition to Rochelle’s birthday, this was the “coming out” party for our new kitchen (even though it wasn’t quite finished). We do regret that we didn’t get to the grilled cheese sandwiches on the griddle, but at least we did make quesadillas.

Worst of all, we forgot to take any photos during the event, especially of people in the kitchen. We’ll just have to try harder (or drink less) next time.

Keeping Up With The Jones Poverty Party

We started the year on a good note by getting rid of lots of crap, but alas, during a routinue appliance swap, we got sucked into a kitchen remodel. We’re only through Stage One (structural), and we’re broke.

So it’s time for a party! We’ll celebrate Rochelle’s birthday and our folly. Come by and make fun of us!

We’ll be serving cheap but good food like bread & dip, deviled eggs and…well…you haven’t lived ‘til you’ve had a fried baloney sandwich made on a Viking Range! We’ll have red wine & tequila (& mixers) from our existing but not insubstantial stash. We’ll also serve whatever beer is on sale that week.

From all you iPoders out there, Rochelle has a special birthday request — bring a playlist of not more than 10 songs from any time I have been alive (May 31, 1962 to present). They can be all from one year [extra points for great years: (birth)1962, (college)1980-84, (move to SF)1985, (move to 569)1992, (guess)1995, and (married Michael)1999], have a groovy theme, or just be 10 cool songs you love. We’ll take take turns jacking into the system, so it’s your chance to be a DJ.

And if you like dressing up, come as your favorite Jones (Davey, Shirley, Starr, Bridget?). Since I suspect there will be at least one Tom Jones, bring panties to throw.

PS – We highly, highly recommend coming via cab or public transit because parking is virtually impossible in the Lower Haight on weekend evenings. Seriously.

I was just referred to the Fire & Knives cooking and food site with the “recommendation” that “Here’s a nice little food site that is snobbier than youse guys…” I decided it was a keeper when I laughed out loud at this description of wonder bread in a new shape:

Cunning bakers have responded, not with an authentic baguette but with a preservative-laden, turd-shaped travesty called — with callous humour — a French Stick. It’s exactly the same rubbish they extrude into white loaves but delivered in a staggeringly inconvenient shape. Trying to eat a sandwich made with one is like trying to fellate a torpedo.

But where he really got me was with his description of real fast food, as in, food prepared by a short order cook. In Boston last year I sat at the counter in Charlie’s Sandwich Shop, and watched one man prepare maybe 35 dishes while I waited for and then ate my breakfast. The cook, who reminded me of Robert Forster, was an absolute machine, keeping as many as 8-10 dishes on the stove and griddle at once, keeping everything going in parallel, but staggered so as to bring each table up together, without making other dishes wait and get cold.

Most impressively, he never seemed hurried, let alone overwhelmed. Indeed, when a second guy showed up to help plate finished dishes, it seemed like the two of them were less efficient than the cook had been by himself. It was amazing. Although I’ve eaten at the kitchen table at Charlie Trotter’s, where I’ve seen fine food at its finest, that morning in Charlie’s Sandwich Shop was the virtuoso cooking performance I’ve seen in my life.

This passed the “laugh out loud” test with me:

The Famous Sushi Pants story

I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years. I was wrong. Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer. The same device that cops have been using for 10 years to conduct field sobriety tests is now offered by the Sharper Image for $99. Though not as accurate as a blood test, they are accurate to within .01, which is good enough for my purposes. I was living in Boca Raton, Florida, when I bought one to take out with me on a Saturday night. This is the story.

Hat tip to the Pretty Evil Edith…

“We?”

“Yeah. I’ll watch.”

(In response to “We need to take out the trash.”)