What isn’t Apple, audiobooks, or alcohol is probably cats.
Heard while discussing whether we should go to an upcoming high school reunion…
While discussing whether we should go to an upcoming high school reunion:
“I think I’ll pick out the most boring jackass there, latch on, and just Rochelle all over him.”
“Isn’t that what you did when you married me…?”
“Just think of it as well-seasoned butter.”
Just in time for the 2003 cutoff:
“Just think of it as well-seasoned butter.”
Explaining fois gras to someone who didn’t like the texture.
“The room was spinning, so I decided to sit up and drink.”
“The room was spinning, so I decided to sit up and drink.”
“I had a nightmare where you were very bad.”
“What did I do?”
“You wouldn’t do what I wanted.”
“I had a nightmare where you were very bad.”
“What did I do?”
“You wouldn’t do what I wanted.”
“Are you sure he’s not depressed? No one’s that lazy and undirected normally.”
“Ahahahahhahahahahaha! You obviously haven’t met my husband.”
“Are you sure he’s not depressed? No one’s that lazy and undirected normally.”
“Ahahahahhahahahahaha! You obviously haven’t met my husband.”
“I have friends like you.”
“I have friends like you.”
Said in a tone of accusation.
“You didn’t give me any credit for driving 85 [MPH] through Santa Clara County.”
“Sure I did. I wasn’t nagging then, was I?”
Complaints about driving speed during our second trip to LA
“You didn’t give me any credit for driving 85 [MPH] through Santa Clara County.”
“Sure I did. I wasn’t nagging then, was I?”
“Coke ’til two, sex ’til four.”
Heard in Costa Rica, as someone summarized their late night
“Coke ’til two, sex ’til four.”
Definition of stubborn: when you want something that I don’t.
Definition of stubborn
When you want something that I don’t.
“Just because you licked it doesn’t make it yours.”
“Just because you licked it doesn’t make it yours.”
“Every day I hate Windows more and more.”
“As long as every day you hate more and more something other than me.”
“Every day I hate Windows more and more.”
“As long as every day you hate more and more something other than me.”
“I may be lazy, but I’m not stupid.”
“I may be lazy, but I’m not stupid.”