This passed the “laugh out loud” test with me:
I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years. I was wrong. Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer. The same device that cops have been using for 10 years to conduct field sobriety tests is now offered by the Sharper Image for $99. Though not as accurate as a blood test, they are accurate to within .01, which is good enough for my purposes. I was living in Boca Raton, Florida, when I bought one to take out with me on a Saturday night. This is the story.
Hat tip to the Pretty Evil Edith…